Like most unpopular bloggers, I have been reading extensively on the fine art of promoting one’s blog. The most common advice seems to be the well known saying that “It’s not what you know but who you know.” For a long time in my life I hated this saying, partly because I’m terrible at and hate networking, but also because I dislike the sad truth than connection is more important than competence in our world. Who, after all, would feel good knowing their heart surgeon got where he is because of who he knew and not what he knew? But, in an effort to follow my New Year’s resolution to accept the world as it is rather than trying to fight it to my detriment, I’m going to attempt to follow this aspect of our society. Therefore, I’m currently offering an open invitation to fellow poorly read (or otherwise) bloggers to attempt to game the system together by liking, linking, reblogging, etc. each other’s articles.
I’m offering two distinct NFFHC networking packages: (1) The Quid Pro Quo; and (2) The I Actually Like Your Shit and Think It’s Worth Liking. Package is one is a down and dirty, no pretense that we give two shits about each other, I will like, follow, link to and/or reblog your shit if you do the same for mine. The second package is if you send me something I genuinely think is interesting, witty, useful or whatever, I will like it, link it, follow it and/or reblog it and expect nothing in return. Keep in mind I’m a busy hombre who hates checking his email, so if I don’t respond to a package two submission, don’t take it personally. There’s a good chance I missed it. For package ones, keep in mind that I have my limits as to how much I’m willing to whore this thing out. I might have fewer readers than you had attendees to your junior high rock band’s backyard “concert,” but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about my blog. It’s taken a lot of free time at work to put this thing together and I try to treat it with a modicum of respect. Basically, only submit things that you think an ordinary, reasonable person wouldn’t be embarrassed to post. And I don’t mean embarrassed because it’s offensive. Certain types of offensiveness are highly encouraged. I mean embarrassed because it’s just awful.
Anywho, here are the submission instructions. Please indicate in the subject line whether it is a Package One or a Package Two submission.
Package One Submissions
Email a link of your article along with a short description of its contents. Also include instructions for exactly what you want me to do with it and what you are willing to do for me in exchange (e.g. I want a contextually appropriate link to my article in one of your articles and I will do the same for one of yours.) If I think the bargain is worth striking, I will email you a message accepting the offer and confirming the terms or countering with different terms. Once I send you a message accepting the terms, I will then perform my side of the agreement and notify you of it. If you do not hold up your end of the bargain within one week, I will consider the agreement null and void and take your shit down. I won’t take it personally, though. If you want to reinstitute the agreement just email me again and the process can begin anew!
Package Two Submissions
Email me a link of your article. If I like it I will do what I think is appropriate with it, most likely linking to it in an article and liking it. Nothing will be expected in return.