Fuck Drat

Don’t get me started on the kind of people who use the word drat. Yeah, that D word. Fucking d$%#. Don’t say it. Please. What other word could combine all the impotent emotional censorship of “fiddlesticks,” yet actually maintain significant population of human beings (I’m saying that in the most general sense) on this planet, in our current time (2000fucking14!), in my current country (Murica), who were born and raised by adult human beings (again, the most general sense), who actually use the word drat.

These are sick, malignant fucks beyond all comprehension people. I really don’t even think it’s possible for me to understand the kind of twists and turns your psyche must take before you are capable of something like that. Unless you are an adorable, mildly senile 90 year-old man who wears bow ties and cardigans, enjoys twilight walks and “tending to your garden,” you should not, nay, must not, use the word drat.

There is a special circle of hell reserved just for drat users. All they do for all eternity is watch one and two star movies with curse words dubbed over in the weakest, most meaning-changing way. Motherfuckers become jokers, shitheads become busters, and cocksuckers become wise guys. Then, at some random point throughout each movie, there will be a ten second cut to an erect, hairy, throbbing, veiny penis, just to shake their pious sensibilities to the core. That’ll learn ‘em!

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