Wake Up America! (Part II)

NFFHC is a part of W. Keith Zoroastrian Enterprises, an international media conglomerate. From time to time, NFFHC will reprint articles from our sister publications which the editorial staff have deemed of exceptionally high quality and particularly important or relevant to the modern world. What follows was originally published as a letter to the editor in the Greensburg Observer, a news and opinion journal located in Greensburg, Indiana. It is the second in a four part series of letters on the topic from American citizen and freelance man-of-letters Randy Miller.

So This is What Has Become of Our Justice System

To the Editor and Readers of the Greensburg Observer,

Liberty. Justice. God. Country. These are the principles the Almighty handed down to our founding fathers, first through the Declaration of Independence and later through that divinely inspired document THE CONSTITUTION OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA. I have always tried to live my life true to the Constitution and the principles it enshrines. I exercise the full measure of my legal rights. I seek vengeance where vengeance is due. And, most of all, I worship my God and my country. I even carry around a pocket copy of the Constitution to enlighten coworkers and cashiers at Wal-Mart. Sadly, sadly, sadly, these days it seems as if our glorious country has lost its way.

Let me give you an example of what “freedom” means to the powers that be in this country right now. The other day, in what in hindsight seems a bit ill-advised, I attempted to instill my sense of wonder, pride and duty towards America and its Constitution in my sons Reagan and F-150 by taking them to the courthouse. My plan was for them to sit in on a hearing I had for some trumped up charges about lacking the proper permits to satisfy our local bureaucratic overlords. (As a side note, since when do I need permission from the nanny state to heal my own kin, or my neighbor Joe and his daughter’s chinchilla, two consenting adults? I swear, they’re going to require a breathing license sooner or later.)

Anywho, a big reason for taking my sons was I wanted them to see the proper way to represent oneself in court, a skill they will no doubt find useful later in life. They are citizens, like any other, after all. They have the rights conferred by the Constitution and the God-given talent in their brains. I wanted them to see what real citizens do. For one thing, like performing your own appendectomies, representing yourself in court can be a real money saver, particularly with civil issues. More importantly, though, my sons don’t need to be beholden to some so-called “legal professional” provided to them by the very same state machinery that is trying to steal their freedom. You ever really thought about that, by the way? Talk about the fox guarding the hen house!

Anywho, they were hearing other cases before mine, so I decided we should sit in on a trial down the hall to warm them up for witnessing the thrill of republican government in action. This turned out to be a big mistake. As avid readers of my prolific catalogue of letters to the editor are no doubt aware, part of bearing witness in a court of law is the act of “swearing in” before our Creator, the Lord Almighty God, upon His divinely inspired instrument the Holy Bible. All witnesses are supposed to swear that they will tell the Truth, the whole Truth, and nothing but the Truth, so help them God. But here’s where it gets ridiculous. At court that day I witnessed what no doubt had George Washington and Jesus shaking their heads in unison up in heaven. I swear to Ben Franklin, I’ve ever seen anything like it. This joker—hippie fellow by the look of him—came up there and insisted, I kid you not, that he was an atheist and did not want to swear on the Bible.

Now, I would think that’s enough right there to discredit whatever he says. I mean, punishment for perjury under the laws of men are nothing compared to punishment from God, right? But here’s the kicker. This clown of a judge lets the guy do it. I mean, I guess you see some ridiculous things in court. This is why we need governments in the first place, to keep guys like this in check. But if a judge—an officer of the court sworn to uphold the Constitution of the United States, mind you—won’t stop him, what protection do ordinary folks like you and me have from bottom feeders like this? But no, this judge—I couldn’t freakin’ believe it—just has the bailiff ask the guy to swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and “nothing but the truth” so help him nothing. What the heck is that? Talk about a legal loophole!

Needless to say, this got ol’ Randy a bit riled up. I practically tripped over myself ushering Reagan and F-150 out of the courtroom as quickly as I could, embarrassed I had even brought them. What’s worse, though—and I’m still a little ashamed to admit it—is for the first time in my life, I was embarrassed to be Citizen of this country that we once called America. For a second, I considered just giving little Ray Ray and Half Ton some money and telling them to go wait for me in the courthouse cafeteria. That’s how much this had shaken my faith in our nation. Once we were out of that snake pit, though, I realized that if I did that, just gave up like that, I would be letting my sons down by letting these people win. I knew what I needed to do was to fire back, to show these kids what makes our country the greatest in the world: righteous Christian citizens standing up for their righteous rights.

I led my kids down the hall to my courtroom and procured some paper. For the next 35 minutes I sat in the back of that courtroom writing on various jury duty informational pamphlets like a man possessed. Ah, heck. I wasn’t like a man possessed. I was a man possessed, possessed with the holy spirit of the United States Constitution! Surely no coincidence, just as I put the finishing touches on my speech, I heard the bailiff call my name (divine inspiration works like that). I got up and strode confidently to the front, ready to meet my destiny and God’s plan.

Now, as readers of my letters are no doubt aware, I am generally a man of law and order. I vote. I own a firearm. I try to slow down in school zones. However, as Benjamin Franklin so aptly put it, “Those who would give up Essential Liberty to purchase a little Temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.” So while I respect the rule of law and hold in high esteem the judges who enforce it, there was no way I was going to respect judge joker and his crew of merry pranksters that the powers that be had installed on my case. And you better be sure I wasn’t about to give up that most essential of liberties, freedom of speech, just so the judge would take it easy me.

I was ready to fight.

So anywho, this judge, he comes out in his big black robe, with his tie and his slicked back hair and a look you would have had to see to believe. I mean, pompous doesn’t begin to describe it. What really drove me up the wall, though, was this itty-bitty smirk he got on his face every time I spoke, as if hearing the Truth was somehow amusing, as if our great nation were just some joke to him. Sadly, I’m sure it is all a joke to him.

So this judge, he started by asking some basic information: where I live, my education, etc. I told him I was going to take the Fifth on my address since you never who might be listening in that courtroom, and that I had a 26th grade education as of January, mostly done by independent study after the 10th grade. By my count that should be enough for a couple PhDs, far more than this judge’s mere JD, though I would never be so full of myself as to ask people to call me doctor (or doctors really).

Then he asks me if I have an attorney. You have no idea how much this bothers me.

“No your honor, I do not and I do not need one,” I proclaimed without a moment’s hesitation. “I am a proud citizen and patriot of this great nation and a scholar of the history of its government. I am fully capable of representing myself like any self-respecting American should be and don’t need any help from you or the state.”

“You do know you have a right to an attorney in a proceeding such as this Mr. Miller?” the judge replies in the most patronizing voice I probably will ever hear. “If you cannot afford an attorney, one can be provided for you. It’s free, in other words.”

“Yes, I’m aware,” I say. “Your honor, I have ample experience representing myself before this Court and many others. I wouldn’t want an attorney if the government paid me to take one.” (By the way, I’m sure paying you to take a public defender isn’t that far off for the minorities and the gays and all those other so-called “oppressed” peoples.)

“Very well Mr. Miller,” he said, rolling his arrogant eyes. Talk about unprofessional. Quite frankly, the nerve of this guy was astonishing.

So anywho, next the judge asks if I understood the charges against me. Heck, I wasn’t sure he understood the charges against me. What follows is word for word exactly what I said. It comes from the court’s transcript, which I, of course, requested afterwards. There were a couple typos the court reporter probably “accidentally” let in there at the behest of the judge to score political points, but I managed to clean it up.

“Your honor,” I began, “Two hundred and thirty seven years ago a man named George Washington stood accused, just like me. They said he had committed treason, that he refused to pay taxes, that he stood in open insurrection against his rightful leader. Now, do you know what he did, because I have serious doubts? Did he come crawling back to King George, begging for forgiveness? ‘Oh, please, massa King George, give us more of your wonderful taxes. I’m so sorry. I loves me some taxes!’ No. Did he cower in the dark, hoping the storm would pass? ‘Oh, please, King George don’t hurt me.’ No. Fellow citizens—even you, your honor—he rose up! He stood for Liberty, and he didn’t sit down until he had created a little something called the United States of America, the greatest country there has ever been or ever will be.”

“Mr. Miller,” the judge interrupted, “All I’m asking is whether you understand the charges against you. You’re not accused of treason or tax evasion or anything besides practicing medicine without a license.”

“Your honor, if you’d bothered to let me finish, you’d see that I am answering your question. I’m just trying to give the court a little context. I mean, isn’t that what’s missing from today’s 24-hour-news-saturated, fast food world, just a little context?”

“Fine, Mr. Miller, proceed, but make it quick. This isn’t my only case today.”

“Thank you, your honor. Liberty. Justice. God. Country. These are the guiding principles we inherited from our Founding Fathers, who were granted them by Almighty God.” I didn’t realize it until some heads turned, but I was nearly shouting in my ecstatic passion for this great land. “These principles are enshrined in our Constitution, a constitution which is the Supreme Law of the Land, mind you, one to which this this court supposedly subject.

“Excuse me, Mr. Miller?” the judge interrupted again.

I try to ignore him and keep going. “Your honor, in the words of Ronald Reagan, America’s greatest modern President and one of the finest leaders the world has ever known: ‘Freedom is never more than one generation away from extinction. We didn’t pass it to our children in the bloodstream. It must be fought for, protected, and handed on for them to do the same, or one day we will spend our sunset years telling our children and our children’s children what it was once like in the United States where men were free.’

I could hear people shuffling out of the courtroom at this point, no doubt uncomfortable in hearing this Truth as a man coming out of a cave would be sensitive to sunlight. But I took heart that such men will adjust so long as the light remains. I continued.

“So, your honor,” I said with a subtle trace of sarcasm that, no doubt, went right over this judge’s head, “To answer your question, NO! I do not understand the charges against me. Yes, I understand the meaning of the words. I understand the dictionary definition of the crime with which you are attempting to pin me. But no, I do not understand the ways of men who unjustly accuse and imprison the righteous. Those who would attempt to cage the wings of Liberty, the men who would not let the eagle soar like she’s never soared before, deserve neither liberty or exotic pets.”

I let those words hang in the air for effect. The courtroom was stricken with a raucous, cacophonous silence. The man in the back row who had not left was in an apparent state of shock to see such a passion. The judge, too, was speechless, no doubt unaccustomed to such a fight. For at least 10 or 20 seconds all he could do was rub his temples, attempting to think of where he could possibly go now.

“Mr. Miller, are you finished?” the judged finally asked.

“I will never be finished!”

“Just, please. How do you plead Mr. Miller?”

“I have never been guilty your honor. I am not guilty now and I will never be guilty!”

“Let the record show the Defendant has entered a plea of not guilty,” the judge said in a rushed tone. “Trial is scheduled for March 5th. This hearing is adjourned.” He swung his gavel.

Walking out of the courtroom I savored my victory, but ultimately I knew I had won a battle but not the war. My real test would come March 5th. No doubt the judge and his political cronies would regroup and restrategize by then. This might have seemed a frightening prospect to some, but I have always had faith in the people of this country. Decent, hard working folks like you and me have the heart and the common sense to fight things like this.

You may not think this affects you, but I implore you, the people of Greensburg, not to be so short-sighted. This is how it happens. First they will come for the Millers, but you will not speak up because you are not a Miller. Then they will come for you and there will be no one left to speak up! The time will soon come when you, too, are in some kangaroo court being put on display by the powers that be to score political points. Stand with me March 5th and fight. Fight for Truth. Fight for Justice. Fight for America.

God Bless,

Randy Miller, Citizen


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